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How to express dislike without offending?

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Ideas posted: 8

Posted by: Kay

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I would like some ideas please on how to tactfully say you don't like something without hurting the person's feelings. I have an acquaintance who has asked me for an honest opinion on her artwork and I don't think it has crossed her mind that I won't like it.

Now I know taste in art is a very personal thing. Truth is, I simply do not like her paintings at all. She's into abstracts which hold no appeal for me. I don't want to lie and say I like it when I don't. She might then ask me if I'd buy one and it would be hard to extricate myself from that! However I don't want to offend her either.

How can I be diplomatic and honest at the same time? Is it better to say nothing and hope she doesn't ask me again next time I see her? She is not the type that would take the hint that silence speaks volumes. While she's not a close friend, I do like her and know she's very proud of what she creates. I don't want to rain on her parade because I'm just one person's opinion.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Category: Family & Relationships

Tags: art diplomacy tact

No comments Show ideas (8)

I, myself am an artist, and I think what you say here is very valid. I am not into abstract at all, but I am in a department that hails the style.

"I am not really into abstract art. I appreciate it for the various types of things that it can create, shape, and express for people, and I take pleasure in the colors. However, I am more of a person who is into [floral, geometric, classical, whatever you like insert here]. Have you tried painting something like this before? I heard it could be a very good exercise to step out of your norm. I would love to see how it would turn out--[if it does turn out well, you could very well have opened up a new door for her, and have a new painting on your wall, too]!

Hope this helps! :]
-JAC-

May 17, 2010

I would say that although I had never been keen on abstract art even I could see that she was skilled by the way she merged her colours (or something like that)

May 17, 2010

Tell her the truth, tell her you don't like them, but you are sure that many people will.

She should not be offended by your opinion, if she is a professional that is...

May 9, 2010

When I am faced with a situation like that, I usually just say I envy anyone with an artistic talent. Then I steer the conversation in a different direction like... Have you tried to find a local coffee shop or tea and sandwich cafe to hang them in with your business card for exposure? Food is something I know so much more about. Sometimes I may say something like "I wish I had room and money for all of the art I love" Complementary yet reflective remarks are there. You do not have to be untruthful just find the one that fits you and her personality. You can say This is so modern it wouldn't fit in my motif, or my house would not do it justice. Good luck to both of you. Good Karma put out is always returned.

Apr 24, 2010

"My own collections run more to representational art." Or something. Head out into the "I don't understand it" or "I've always preferred landscapes" territory. Find some element of her work that you can complement without saying, "I want it"--for example, I love the way you used the green there... or "you have the most interesting brushwork."

Apr 19, 2010

Just tell her that while it seems to be a great example of "the style", it's not to your personal taste. If she's truly a friend she'll understand and not take offense.

Apr 4, 2010

You need to realise that your opinion is just as valuable as anyone elses. You don't need to hurt her feelings just tell her straight off that her style doesn't appeal to you.
As an artist, like any business in the public eye, you have to have a hard skin as there will always be people who don't like what you do.

If you tell her that a painting is just not what you like, she will stop asking you. I don't think she will be too hurt.

Mar 11, 2010

If you can reduce the level of seriousness and conjure up a jovial mood, I'd take the good news / bad news approach.

She says, "So what do you think of my paintings?"

You say, "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is these paintings aren't really my thing, but the good news is I love artists! Can you find it in that beautiful artistic heart of yours to forgive your good friend?"

If you just can't shake the seriousness I'd recommend saying something like, "Forgive me, I'm really not a connoisseur of abstract works. I don't want to offer an opinion simply because I know I'm biased against the whole genre to start with."

The follow up after that is just to say it's not really your thing, but you hope it won't discourage her.

Mar 10, 2010