Tell me "What makes a better boyfriend" in 200 words or less

ok...you asked...LISTEN! turn off the TV or video game and listen when she's talking. A response isn't always necessary...just acknowledgment. Don't dislike something or disagree with us and never let us know...We feel rather foolish to discover years/months/whatever long span later that you didn't like that red dress or thought that it made us look cheap or whatever and you never said one word about it! (and we were so convinced we were all that while wearing it.)We probably will get mad at the time...but we'll always wonder if you really are trustworthy if we find out later that you chose not to say anything. If you are a strong personality man...don't dominate us...many females will let you lead, unless a man has crossed the line into control & domination...then she won't trust any other man after she leaves you. (If a girl seems overly independent...she may have a very strong personality herself or she may have been mistreated by a knuckle-dragging knucklehead. That takes forever to heal...if you don't have the patience for it...do her & yourself a favor & move on. I have very little patience for stupid men. Not saying you have to be a rocket scientist...but you do have to have good common sense and good people skills to know how others perceive you. It's embarrassing to be with a man who can't tell he's boring everyone else at the party. Kindness to people: wait staff, concession workers, the elderly, and kids is a positive trait. A boyfriend doesn't have to look like a movie star (nice..but not realistic) to be handsome to his woman. He's got to make the best of what he's got (hygiene & grooming, ZZTop/sharp-dressed man to suit your personality & style.) He's got to treat her and others like people who are worthwhile. This makes her feel safe. The ability to make her laugh increases handsomeness. A man who has maturity realizes that working is part of life and must be done even when it's not fun is extremely attractive.

I think it depends on the situation and the stage of life.

So I asked my teenage daughter and got these responses:

1. He has to be nice. When he is with his girlfriend it has to be about her. No waving at other friends. No texting. No looking at other girls.
2. He has to be smart. No dummy is going to get any chance with my daughter.
3. He has to be a good fit. Not a good fit means it won't last.

As a former bartender I have a different perspective because I got to watch a lot of couples as they came in for drinks on their dates.

And the number one thing that I saw that made a boyfriend better was that he was considerate to his date. Did he listen to what she was ordering? Did he talk to her in a friendly way? Was the date about "them" and not about "him"?

Consideration is the key.

The idea of a 'better boyfriend' is (I think) incredibly subjective. Each person (whether female or male) will likely have their own set of expectations/desires for their male partner. Also, I think all the interplay and interrelationship that exists psychologically in a relationship could make the 'list of must haves' rather lengthy. That said though, I think there are some generalities that most folks would appreciate in a 'better boyfriend'.

First, I think an aware, attentive personality is pretty key. Let's face it...everyone likes to feel special...and if your fella makes you feel that way...well then, chances are...you're off to a pretty good start.

I don't think that boyfriends need to be sappy and uber romantic in order to be 'better'. However, there is something to be said for remembering birthdays, special events, and holidays (there's no getting around that). To be this fantastic man, they need not buy something fancy smancy (making a gift would be wonderful)...but offering some token that indicates they spent TIME on you, goes a long way.

I think that it goes without saying, that a boyfriend entirely focused on 'the bedroom' is annoying and incredibly cliche....BUT, chemistry in this department is important and a man who doesn't focus all of his attention on 'his task at hand', is by far...a more attractive boyfriend than one who is literally, in his own world...grunting away (ew!).

Lastly, (at least for me)...they've gotta be bright. Don't give me a case of the doldrums...have something interesting to say, show me your gray matter is firing away at optimum speed. To be a 'better boyfriend' you don't have to be on all the time, just capable of turning on the light, and showing us someone's home regularly.

I think that really sums it up. Three ( or was it four) key ingredients that are probably fairly universal. After these specifics, it really comes down to personal preference...but if these four (or was it three) things are present...you've got a fairly good shot at being a 'better boyfriend' (or having one).

Good luck with your new domain and ebook venture. Here's hoping it's a smashing success!

there are a number of things
be a good listener

be encouraging

take us as we are. you liked us when you met us. don't try to change us after the fact

remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side

if you are not ready to commit, don't start something you can not finish

keep the romance alive - you got us, now keep us

don't forget special occasions

Well from a my point of view ( a man) it takes many things to be a great boyfriend. First you have to think with the big head and not the little one as most men do. Don't make sex the be all and end all. It's a wonderful thing but not the point of our existence. Secondly take time to really get to know her. Listen to her dreams, wants, desires and her "vents". Don't always try to fix her problems too. Sure give advice in areas where you can, but she's able to fix her own problems and usually just wants to release some of that pinned up fustration.

There are only two things 1) being a better human being and 2) doing weirdly specific things that your partner happens to randomly like.

Number 1 is pretty obvious and number 2 either happens or it doesn't. So, you know, focus on being a better human being and all that taking care of your girlfriend stuff will happen naturally.

Also, why focus only on one side of a hetero relationship? You could probably expand your potential target demographic by not limiting the subject of your book to a topic that's already been done to death.

A responsible, caring man who can KEEP a partner around. Treating your partner right, be a better lover, communicate better in your relationship, developing the relationship and take it to the next level, learn to have more fun with your girlfriend, use of sense of humor in the relationship, cook for your lady (not just grilling out all the time), good boyfriends don't get mad at their girlfriends, there is more to life than the TV and remote.